Save the Dates are often the first official piece of wedding stationery your guests will receive, and how you address them sets the tone for the celebration ahead. While these early announcements may seem informal compared to the wedding invitation itself, proper etiquette still matters. In fact, the way you address your Save the Dates offers a unique opportunity to establish a clear and thoughtful connection with your loved ones, reinforcing the importance of their presence on your big day. Whether you’re hosting a traditional wedding or a casual beach affair, understanding how to address Save the Dates properly can make all the difference in first impressions.
In this comprehensive guide, we’ll walk through everything you need to know about addressing your Save the Dates, from choosing formal vs. informal wording to handling complicated guest situations with grace. Our goal is to help you feel confident and prepared as you complete one of the most exciting and essential early steps in your wedding planning journey.
Understanding the Purpose of Save the Dates
Before diving into the details of addressing, it’s important to remember why Save the Dates exist in the first place. These pre-invitations are designed to give your guests advance notice of your wedding date and location so they can mark their calendars, make travel plans, and prepare for your event. Especially for destination weddings or celebrations that fall on holiday weekends, Save the Dates are invaluable.
Since Save the Dates are typically sent six to eight months before the wedding, or even earlier for destination weddings, they don’t require all the final details. However, they should reflect your style and values as a couple. Addressing them with care shows your guests that they’re an important part of your lives.
Formal vs. Informal: Choosing Your Tone
One of the first decisions to make is whether you’ll take a formal or informal approach when addressing your Save the Dates. This depends on the overall tone of your wedding and your personal preferences.
Formal Addressing: If your wedding is black-tie or traditional, you may want to stick with formal titles and full names. This includes using “Mr.” and “Mrs.” or “Dr.” when appropriate, as well as spelling out first and last names. For example:
Mr. and Mrs. Jonathan Smith
Dr. Emily Bennett and Mr. Thomas Reed
Informal Addressing: For a casual or intimate wedding, informal addressing can be both personal and appropriate. You might drop the titles and just use first names, or use nicknames if that’s how your guests know you best:
Jonathan and Maria Smith
Emily and Tom
There is no strict rule that says Save the Dates must be formal. The key is consistency with the overall style of your wedding. A rustic outdoor wedding may call for a more laid-back approach, while a ballroom affair could benefit from a more traditional presentation.
Addressing Couples
When sending a Save the Date to a couple, you’ll need to decide how to address the envelope depending on whether they are married, unmarried but living together, or dating casually.
Married Couple: Use both names, with the man’s name traditionally listed first. Formal examples include:
Mr. and Mrs. David Johnson
Mr. David and Mrs. Sarah Johnson (modern alternative)
Unmarried Couple Living Together: List both full names on separate lines or the same line:
Ms. Rachel Greene and Mr. Ross Geller
Rachel Greene and Ross Geller
Engaged Couple: You can treat them similarly to unmarried couples:
Miss Monica Geller and Mr. Chandler Bing
Dating But Not Living Together: In this case, send two separate Save the Dates—one to each person at their own address.
Addressing Families
When sending Save the Dates to families with children, be sure to make it clear who is invited. If children are included, you have two main options:
Option 1: List All Names:
Mr. and Mrs. Alex Taylor
Emma and Noah Taylor
Option 2: Use “and Family”:
Mr. and Mrs. Alex Taylor and Family
The “and Family” option is less specific but can be helpful if you’re inviting children and don’t want to write out all their names. However, if you prefer clarity, listing the children’s names individually helps avoid confusion.
If children are not invited, avoid using “and Family,” and do not include their names on the envelope.
Addressing Single Guests and Plus-Ones
Addressing Save the Dates for single guests requires careful thought, especially if you’re offering a plus-one.
Without a Plus-One: Simply address the envelope to your guest using the appropriate title:
Ms. Olivia Martin
With a Plus-One: You can include “and Guest” if you don’t yet know the name of the plus-one:
Mr. James Anderson and Guest
If you do know the name of the guest’s partner, it’s always more thoughtful to include it:
Mr. James Anderson and Ms. Laura Lee
Using “and Guest” is acceptable on Save the Dates, but by the time you send your formal wedding invitations, you should include the guest’s full name whenever possible.
Return Address and RSVP Info
While Save the Dates don’t require RSVPs, it’s a good idea to include your return address on the envelope in case of mailing issues. You can use your full names and address or even a custom return address stamp. This adds a professional touch and ensures guests know where the mailing originated.
Here’s an example of a return address:
Sophia Martinez and Liam Reynolds
1234 Elm Street
Chicago, IL 60601
If you have a wedding website with early RSVP options, travel info, or hotel blocks, include the URL on the Save the Date card itself, not on the envelope.
Tips for Printing and Mailing
Once you’ve decided on the appropriate way to address your Save the Dates, you can choose whether to handwrite them, print address labels, or use a calligraphy service. Each option has its own appeal:
Handwriting: Offers a personal touch and shows care, especially for smaller weddings.
Printed Labels: Convenient and uniform for large guest lists but less personal.
Calligraphy: Elegant and sophisticated, perfect for formal weddings.
Regardless of the method, double-check spelling and titles for accuracy. Mistakes in names or relationships can be embarrassing and frustrating for guests. Consider creating a spreadsheet with all guest names, titles, addresses, and RSVP statuses to help keep things organized.
Send your Save the Dates at least 6–8 months before the wedding, and 8–12 months in advance for destination weddings. This ensures guests have enough time to arrange time off, accommodations, and travel.
Common Mistakes to Avoid
Even the most organized couples can make a few missteps when addressing Save the Dates. Here are some common mistakes to watch for:
Using Nicknames on Formal Invitations: Even if you’re close to the guests, avoid overly casual nicknames unless your tone is intentionally informal.
Leaving Off Plus-Ones: If you intend to offer a guest the option to bring a plus-one, make that clear.
Addressing Envelopes Too Casually for a Formal Wedding: Let your Save the Dates reflect the tone of your wedding.
Not Including Everyone on the Invitation: If children are invited, list them clearly; if they’re not, leave them off to avoid assumptions.
Waiting Too Long to Send: Give guests ample notice, especially for weddings requiring travel.
Final Thoughts
Your Save the Dates are more than just a heads-up, they’re the first glimpse your guests get into the celebration you’re planning. Addressing them correctly adds a layer of consideration and organization to your wedding experience, setting the tone for everything that follows. Whether you opt for a traditional approach or something more relaxed, the goal is to make your guests feel appreciated and informed.
With a bit of thoughtfulness and preparation, you can confidently address your Save the Dates in a way that reflects your style and honors your relationships. And as the first exciting milestone in your wedding stationery journey, getting it right will give you the perfect foundation for all the elegance and joy still to come.
